Probably because of karmic reparations for angering fans, pre-production on the new live-action
Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles movie
has been shut down by
Paramount,
which has also pushed the planned December 2013 release date back to
May 2014. Not surprisingly, the issue is said to be with the script — a
script for a
TMNT reboot that has abandoned the original story so much that it’s basically another movie that is just borrowing the
TMNT name because no one could think of anything better. I’ll pretend to be upset about this right after I stop laughing.
At least production hadn’t started yet.
Ninja Turtles, which is being produced by
Michael Bay‘s
Platinum Dunes and directed by
Jonathan Liebesman,
was still in pre-production in Vancouver, so it was still fairly early
in the game for this controversial movie. Some might think that
“controversial” is a strong word to describe a
TMNT movie — unless you’re a fan of the actual
TMNT. As some of you might remember, fans (including me) were pretty excited about a new
TMNT movie. And then we heard Michael Bay was involved with it. And then we heard he was
changing the Earthly creatures to aliens, which is effing ridiculous. And then Michael Bay
told us all to “chill out,” and then we told him to do something to himself that I won’t repeat here.
However, we realize that the ooze that mutates our reptilian heroes
does come from outer space, so maybe we’ve just been misunderstanding
each other. But it’s still Michael Bay, and there’s still reason to be
nervous.
Exhibit A: The issue of the script. The script with the supposed problems is being written by
Josh Appelbaum,
Andre Nemec, and — shockingly, for me, anyway —
TMNT co-creator
Kevin Eastman. (If you’re wondering if the other co-creator
Peter Laird
is not involved because of the changes to his story, then you’d
actually be incorrect. The above order to “chill out” from Bay? Laird
highly
recommends it.) No cast had been announced, though it was revealed that the Turtles themselves (or rather,
the aliens) might be shot using motion capture; Liebesman said in an interview with
Collider that he really liked how the reboot of
The Rise of Planet of the Apes was made. So, let me be the first to nominate
Andy Serkis
for the role of Splinter if this turns out to be better than we think
it is. I don’t want Serkis to be in a crappy movie, but I would trust
his talents for giving life to non-human characters in this “sensitive”
of a situation.
Schadenfreude towards Michael Bay aside, Paramount is having some trouble making movies lately. In addition to
Ninja Turtles, they also ordered
an 11th hour rewrite and seven weeks of reshoots for
World War Z as recently as last week. That was not too long after they
suddenly yanked G.I. Joe: Retaliation
from its planned June 29 release, citing a “3D conversion,” which is
code for “our movie sucks and we’re desperately going to try to fix it.”
So Paramount is apparently becoming the most reliable source of fits
and starts rather than awesome movies, and that’s kind of sad.
As far as
Ninja Turtles goes, I’m going to hold out hope that any work on this script leads to something we fans can really get behind.